Sonomi's Drunken Lament
by xXKazaneXx
Summary: The night before her daughter's wedding. Sonomi gets drunk and spills the beans to a stranger. Warning for Crack pairing and alcohol abuse.


Sonomi's Drunken Lament

The mermaid princess didn't really need to turn into foam. That was the stupidest thing I've ever heard! Yet…..somehow…I envy her. It might be happier to dissolve and live on……On second thoughts, that's stupid too. Live _forever_ as **FOAM** and continue to remember the jerk and the betrayal and how *_beep_* ungrateful the *_beep_* was?!?!?!? Did I mention forever? No wonder there has been an increase in tsunamis. She probably came to her senses on how her sacrifice was so *_beep_* not worth it!! I mean the bloke is **DEAD** for goodness sakes!!! To top it all off he **DIDN'T** *_beep_* know!!! I guess what you don't know can't hurt you, but it really hurts the one who does. I bet she wished she let the prince drown then, so she wouldn't suffer like this and didn't have to lose her voice and can't sing anymore.

Oh, sorry, didn't see you there. Why am I so upset? I guess I did use a little too much expletives, but I can explain. It all started you see on that day. Excuse me…..

***Out of nowhere many women dressed in black appear with a laptop, a projector and a big board. One of them hands the (apparently very) drunk women a long metal pointer.***

Ok! Now that we are all set, I can begin. It all started on that day which shall be known as the most uneventful day in history. I and my beloved Nadeshiko were going to school as usual when dear Nadeshiko-chan heard a little chirp in the bushes. Being the kind, warm-hearted angel she was, Nadeshiko-chan went to look for the source and a stupid little bird had to fall down from its nest. Sweet Nadeshiko being the loving, tender soul she was carried that _dirty_ little bird in the palm of her exquisitely _beautiful_, dainty hand and _**CLIMBED**_ a **TREE**!!! All for the sake of getting a dirty little no-good useless bird back home!!!!! Now that's selfless, no one can lift a candle to my precious Nadeshiko in that aspect!!!

***As she was saying this, pictures began to appear on the board. They were of two high school girls. The one with the long dark gray hair was Nadeshiko-san and the other was the drunken lady. The pictures all correspond to what the lady was saying.* **

_**Much attention was paid to Nadeshiko-san. Her face was the most prominent in all of those pictures. The photographer is a good one. Nadeshiko-san looks very pretty. Fujitaka is a lucky man. **_

Nadeshiko-chan was always so selfless that she climbed up that tree even if I told her not too. She was always thinking about others and didn't hear of it. Well, she climbed all the way to that confounded branch to put that filthy, disgusting little bird back in its nest. That horrible, devilish bird better be grateful and let all the birds know about Nadeshiko-chan's selfless act for its insignificant self because it's all that *_beep_* birds fault!!!!! AH! I'm sorry my feelings carried me away a bit.

_**Out comes her handkerchief to wipe off any sweat. Said handkerchief, which I assure you, was VERY wet when she was done. It must be very agonizing and painful for her. She was ah…..rather vocal at the last part. The lady cleared her throat, drinks some water and begins again.**_

Now, where was I? Oh, yes. Darling Nadeshiko gently placed that *_beep_* bird in its nest, when that dumb branch actually caused her to **DROP**!!! I was going to catch her but _NOOOO………_ Kinomoto-sensei just **HAD** to be there and poor sweet darling Nadeshiko dropped on top of him!!! Not only that he **HAD** to use the stupidest, most cliché line in the entire universe. "Are you an angel?" Bull-shit!!! Of course Nadeshiko was like an angel!!! You insipid little *_beep_*!!!!! Taking away my precious little darling Nadeshiko!!!!! I would wring your neck with my own hands if it wasn't so below my class!!!!

_**Now I find her expressions and actions extremely funny. Wish I had a camera, and then I could post it on Youtube and share this little gem with the whole world. Curses! Should I use magic? Nah, technology doesn't really agree with magic.**_

Now, _my_ Tomoyo-chan!!!!! What is it with Kinomoto men?!?!?!?! What kind of grudge do they have with the women of my family!?!?!?!? Why!?!?!? Tomoyo fell from that tree while taking pictures of cute little Sakura-chan's date. Then what do you know?!?! That man's son HAD to be there, right under where Tomoyo was perched. I'll give him credit though; he didn't say any sappy, stupid, cliché line like his father. He has dear Nadeshiko-chan's _taste_ and _class_. MARRYING KINOMOTO-SENSEI WAS **ALL** BECAUSE HE **BEWITCHED** HER!!!!!!! NADESHIKO WOULDN'T HAVE MARRIED HIM **BY CHOICE**!!!!

_**I wouldn't count on that dear madam. She was very much in love with your Kinomoto-sensei. Which Tomoyo are you referring to by the way? Wait……don't tell me…….it's THAT Tomoyo. I wouldn't have thought that of her. I should have guess, but I've been careless and maybe have had too much alcohol. She always was a crafty one, Daidouji-san. A truly remarkable woman, Touya is very fortunate. **_

Oh, why me??? **WHY ME**!?!??!?!?! First my beloved cousin now my own daughter!!!! Those Kinomoto men must really have something against us. What did I ever do to them in my past life!?!?!?!? The worst part is I loved ……………………..

_**Oh, there, there. Please don't worry yourself. Even if you mumble I can still hear you perfectly fine. *chuckles* I'm not Clow Reed's reincarnation for nothing. How fortunate my other self is. **_

Oh, what does this have to do with the mermaid princess? Didn't she end up happily ever after with her prince?? You obviously never read the original. The mermaid princess sacrificed herself because she'd rather turn into foam than kill the *_beep_* prince and regain her voice and tail. Tomoyo-chan loved that story. She said it was so romantic, though she'd cry over it when she was little. I always want to cry when I remember that story. It kind of reminds me of myself. Oh, you're leaving? Yes, don't let me keep you; I'll be drinking for quite a while. Why? Well, Tomoyo is going to…._sniff_…marry…._sniff_ that….that….._sob_….Kinomoto-sensei's SON…..**TOMORROW**!!!!!!

_**There, there lady. Don't cry. Here's a handkerchief. I hate to see someone cry. Not always though.**_

Why, thank you. I didn't quite get your name. I'm Daidouji Sonomi by the way. Oh, Hiiragizawa Eriol? You're a nice young man to listen to me rant. Goodnight sir.

_**Goodnight to you too, dear madam. Wouldn't you get a surprise tomorrow?**_

xX THE END Xx


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